Ig-Nobel prizes 2015

Yes… it is that time of the year again, when science and humour collide. I secretly dream of winning the Ig-Nobel prize some day. But it is very unlikely. I’m afraid I’m a very boring researcher. Anyways, here you have the winners of the prizes this year: 

CHEMISTRY PRIZE — to the invention of a chemical recipe to partially un-boil an egg. 

Very useful for people who can’t decide between hard-boiled egg or omelette for breakfast. Also for the ones that back off from revolution… Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably Priced Love, and a Hard-Boiled Egg! 

PHYSICS PRIZE — to the testing of the biological principle that nearly all mammals empty their bladders in about 21 seconds (plus or minus 13 seconds). 

The authors, in the abstract of their paper, wonder why this issue was given not much attention by researchers. I am really surprised too. I always find very long queues for the toilet, while men don’t queue at all… so if the time we spend “ejecting fluids” is the same, I wonder what takes us so much time in the toilet… perhaps because we usually go in pairs, and we just go to have a chat? Of course, that’s what most men think. It is clearly the best place to have a chat… 

LITERATURE PRIZE — to the discovering that the word "huh?" (or its equivalent) seems to exist in every human language — and for not being quite sure why. 

This is too easy to comment… huh? 

MANAGEMENT PRIZE — to the discovering that many business leaders developed in childhood a fondness for risk-taking, when they experienced natural disasters (such as earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, and wildfires) that — for them — had no dire personal consequences. 

I really don’t care about this… I’m immortal… 

ECONOMICS PRIZE — The Bangkok Metropolitan Police [THAILAND], for offering to pay policemen extra cash if the policemen refuse to take bribes. 

I am really not paid to write this blog… if you get my drift… 

MEDICINE PRIZE — Awarded jointly to two groups, for experiments to study the biomedical benefits or biomedical consequences of intense kissing (and other intimate, interpersonal activities). 

This is the kind of study where the researcher can get too involved into. I can imagine a PhD on Kissing and its benefits. There would never be enough data according to the PhD student… 

MATHEMATICS PRIZE — to try to use mathematical techniques to determine whether and how Moulay Ismael the Bloodthirsty, the Sharifian Emperor of Morocco, managed, during the years from 1697 through 1727, to father 888 children. 

This guy really was healthy, according to the MEDICINE PRIZE above… 

BIOLOGY PRIZE — to the observation that when you attach a weighted stick to the rear end of a chicken, the chicken then walks in a manner similar to that in which dinosaurs are thought to have walked. 

This is, in my humble opinion, the best of them all. I can’t help showing the supporting material of this study… 

DIAGNOSTIC MEDICINE PRIZE — to the determination that acute appendicitis can be accurately diagnosed by the amount of pain evident when the patient is driven over speed bumps. 

Don’t ever go to La Cañada in Almería with appendicitis then… 

PHYSIOLOGY and ENTOMOLOGY PRIZE — Awarded jointly to two individuals, for carefully arranging for honey bees to sting him repeatedly on 25 different locations on his body, to learn which locations are the least painful (the skull, middle toe tip, and upper arm). and which are the most painful (the nostril, upper lip, and penis shaft). 

Should we investigate if the word “Ouch!” is universal too????

More about Ig Nobel prizes

Some funny prizes, by the founder of the Ig Nobels :)

 

Enjoy!

I’m going to dress up as a flamenco dancer…

So yes, another year and I haven’t been nominated yet. My career is not in the right path. So, with nothing to show to the world from my own, I will comment this year’s Ig Nobel prizes.

PHYSICS PRIZE [JAPAN]: Kiyoshi Mabuchi, Kensei Tanaka, Daichi Uchijima and Rina Sakai, for measuring the amount of friction between a shoe and a banana skin, and between a banana skin and the floor, when a person steps on a banana skin that's on the floor. 

So yes, lots of laughs experimenting. They will probably be shown in You've Been Framed!.

NEUROSCIENCE PRIZE [CHINA, CANADA]: Jiangang Liu, Jun Li, Lu Feng, Ling Li, Jie Tian, and Kang Lee, for trying to understand what happens in the brains of people who see the face of Jesus in a piece of toast.

Perhaps they could write a joint proposal with Ig Nobel laureate Robert Matthews to see if the toast will fall with the face of Jesus down or up. What about adding a cat to the whole study? Will see… 

PSYCHOLOGY PRIZE [AUSTRALIA, UK, USA]: Peter K. Jonason, Amy Jones, and Minna Lyons, for amassing evidence that people who habitually stay up late are, on average, more self-admiring, more manipulative, and more psychopathic than people who habitually arise early in the morning.

Of course, I go to bed very early… the problem is that I also get up late… does it mean that I’m lazy? I will think about it and perhaps write a paper on that. As long as is short and I don‘t have to work much on it…

PUBLIC HEALTH PRIZE [CZECH REPUBLIC, JAPAN, USA, INDIA]: Jaroslav Flegr, Jan Havlíček and Jitka Hanušova-Lindova, and to David Hanauer, Naren Ramakrishnan, Lisa Seyfried, for investigating whether it is mentally hazardous for a human being to own a cat.

I was bitten by a cat once… and I can tell you that yes, it’s mentally draining. It was a very long day, with very unlikely and (now that I think about it) funny events. In one of them, I was so unlucky that in the hospital they gave me the phone number of the tomb engraver by accident. I was completely shocked. I still have nightmares about it. And no, I didn’t do anything to the cat. I actually saved its life… ok, let’s go for the next one. I don’t like this one…

BIOLOGY PRIZE [CZECH REPUBLIC, GERMANY, ZAMBIA]: Vlastimil Hart, Petra Nováková, Erich Pascal Malkemper, Sabine Begall, Vladimír Hanzal, Miloš Ježek, Tomáš Kušta, Veronika Němcová, Jana Adámková, Kateřina Benediktová, Jaroslav Červený and Hynek Burda, for carefully documenting that when dogs defecate and urinate, they prefer to align their body axis with Earth's north-south geomagnetic field lines.

I don’t know… what happens if they have a high voltage electricity line very close? Or if they have a computer nearby? Do they align with the resultant magnetic field? In any case, you can always substitute your compass for a dog when you go to the jungle. They also can help you hunting…

ART PRIZE [ITALY]: Marina de Tommaso, Michele Sardaro, and Paolo Livrea, for measuring the relative pain people suffer while looking at an ugly painting, rather than a pretty painting, while being shot [in the hand] by a powerful laser beam.

I even sometimes experiment pain looking at some paintings… and I don’t need any laser beam…

ECONOMICS PRIZE [ITALY]: ISTAT — the Italian government's National Institute of Statistics, for proudly taking the lead in fulfilling the European Union mandate for each country to increase the official size of its national economy by including revenues from prostitution, illegal drug sales, smuggling, and all other unlawful financial transactions between willing participants.

Because of course all the illegal money should be taxed… and use it for fighting prostitution, drugs, smuggling, and all unlawful behaviour…

MEDICINE PRIZE [USA, INDIA]: Ian Humphreys, Sonal Saraiya, Walter Belenky and James Dworkin, for treating "uncontrollable" nosebleeds, using the method of nasal-packing-with-strips-of-cured-pork.

You could use also tampons… I saw it in a movie…

ARCTIC SCIENCE PRIZE [NORWAY, GERMANY]: Eigil Reimers and Sindre Eftestøl, for testing how reindeer react to seeing humans who are disguised as polar bears.

I would dress up as a flamenco dancer… I don’t know… perhaps they would like to go to the feria :)

NUTRITION PRIZE [SPAIN]: Raquel Rubio, Anna Jofré, Belén Martín, Teresa Aymerich, and Margarita Garriga, for their study titled "Characterization of Lactic Acid Bacteria Isolated from Infant Faeces as Potential Probiotic Starter Cultures for Fermented Sausages."

You know, we are a food oriented culture. With this one and the study about the science of tapped beer I’m very proud of my country!

You've got mail

Seen here :)

Publish now

I am glad to announce the submission of my first paper to the Journal of Universal Rejection. 

I was pressed to write a poem after the last AGU conference, where you could read a poem or a song related to Earth Sciences. I must say I was very uninspired, but I made a little effort. The thing I came up was the lyrics of a song that has been haunting me since I saw Frozen. So my little song is not very original, since I only changed the lyrics.

Well, I decided to share it with the world, so I sent it to JofUR, and then I am sharing it with you too here, because they don´t really care if you already published it or not. Without much ado:

Publish now

The data shows an interesting trend in it not an error to be seen.
I am afraid of rejection, but if it happens, so be it.
The references are in order, and the maths are all alright.
Not a typo in it, and the footnote´s fine.
Don't plagiarize, and you can't cheat
Be the good author you always have to be
Discus and fit, that figure's wrong well, take it off.

Publish now, publish now
Can't hold it back any more
Publish now, publish now
Don't hesitate it's all done.
I don't care what reviews will say
Write to the editor
I'll send it until is published anyway.

It's funny how some feedback,
Makes everything seem bad,
And the equations that explained it
Can't explain it anymore.
It's time to use that figure too
To show the limits of the truth.
Not right, but close, enough for me
Future work here!

Publish now, publish now
I think this conclusion is nice.
Publish now, publish now
You've never seen this graph.
Here I add
And here I write.
Let the ideas flow.

My keyboard´s steaming I´m writing thousand words.
I'm using Hurst exponent, fractals all around.
And one thought crystallises like an spin glass.
I´m not stoping now,
The die´s already cast.

Publish now, publish now
I´ll write until it is done.
Publish now, publish now
This paper´s must be gone.
Here I add,
The impact factor's high.
Let the ideas flow.
I'll send it until is published anyway.

And here you have the original version:



What do you think?

The Ig Nobel prizes

As every year, the Ig Noble prizes have been awarded. For those who don't know what the Ig Nobel prizes are, I will explain a little bit: they are awarded to real research studies that, somehow, end up almost like a joke, and are amusing. As they say, improbable research is research that makes people laugh and then think.

This year, the winners are: 

MEDICINE PRIZE: Masateru Uchiyama et al., for assessing the effect of listening to opera, on heart transplant patients who are mice.

PSYCHOLOGY PRIZE: Laurent Bègue et al. for confirming, by experiment, that people who think they are drunk also think they are attractive. 

JOINT PRIZE IN BIOLOGY AND ASTRONOMY: Marie Dacke et al., for discovering that when dung beetles get lost, they can navigate their way home by looking at the Milky Way. 

SAFETY ENGINEERING PRIZE: The late Gustano Pizzo [USA], for inventing an electro-mechanical system to trap airplane hijackers — the system drops a hijacker through trap doors, seals him into a package, then drops the encapsulated hijacker through the airplane's specially-installed bomb bay doors, whence he parachutes to earth, where police, having been alerted by radio, await his arrival. 

PHYSICS PRIZE: Alberto Minetti et al., for discovering that some people would be physically capable of running across the surface of a pond — if those people and that pond were on the moon. 

CHEMISTRY PRIZE: Shinsuke Imai et al., for discovering that the biochemical process by which onions make people cry is even more complicated than scientists previously realized. 

ARCHAEOLOGY PRIZE: Brian Crandall and Peter Stahl, for parboiling a dead shrew, and then swallowing the shrew without chewing, and then carefully examining everything excreted during subsequent days — all so they could see which bones would dissolve inside the human digestive system, and which bones would not. 

PEACE PRIZE: Alexander Lukashenko, president of Belarus, for making it illegal to applaud in public, AND to the Belarus State Police, for arresting a one-armed man for applauding. 

 PROBABILITY PRIZE: Bert Tolkamp et al., for making two related discoveries: First, that the longer a cow has been lying down, the more likely that cow will soon stand up; and Second, that once a cow stands up, you cannot easily predict how soon that cow will lie down again. 

PUBLIC HEALTH PRIZE: Kasian Bhanganada, et al., for the medical techniques described in their report "Surgical Management of an Epidemic of Penile Amputations in Siam" — techniques which they recommend, except in cases where the amputated penis had been partially eaten by a duck. [THAILAND] . 

You can see the whole ceremony at: 

I would love to be awarded, but I think I'm not good enough :(